Filled with Dread

It's official. I go back to work on Monday, October 26th. I am DREADING this. For four months I've been home with my two boys, and yes, I've wanted to throw things and scream and cry. (well, maybe I've actually done all those things...post partum?) But the idea that someone else is going to be seeing their smiles, and fixing their cries, and laughing at their laughs is killing me.

Of course Tommy is in bed with a cold. I've been feeling sick since the start of October, and turns out I have a nasty sinus infection, but cold trumps sinus infection, and I have the kids. And errands to run. But it's snowing right now. So I can't do anything. I mean, I could do things like clean the bathrooms, do laundry, and straighten up. But I don't like to do any of those things while the kids are up.

Anyhow...woe is me I guess.

Vampires

My friend Cole (I Heart My Chaotic Life http://iheartmychaoticlife.blogspot.com/) mentioned Twilight lately and I need to vent.

Ever since this whole "Twilight" craze started, I've been annoyed. I'm someone who's always been a fan of Vampires...probably because I loved Anne Rice's "Interview with a Vampire" series. But this craze has just unnerved me. Everyone I talk to has apparently been "vampire" crazed since birth. And now there's True Blood, Twilight, Vampire Diaries...etc etc etc. And for some reason I'm annoyed.

Maybe it's because all the "goth" kids are doing it. Maybe because it's yet another "thing" people are using to be "different". EXCEPT THAT EVERYONE IS DOING IT. Maybe because for so many years I've been part of and a fan of a scene that I've never "looked the part" of. Sorry I'm not pierced head to toe, that I'm not a fan of looking like I rolled out of a trashcan this morning...

Actually I'm not sorry. I'm glad I'm happy to be me. I'm sad not everyone else has gotten to that place yet.

B

As if I needed another procrastination tool...

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

yeah, you want to see this! Thanks to my friend for sending me a link...

I received an award?!?! A "Love Ya" shout out from my friend and bloggy-mentor, Cole!

Love_Ya_Award1.jpg

I will go ahead and copy and paste her description here:

• This award is bestowed on to blogs that are exceedingly charming.
• These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends.
• They are not interested in self-aggrandizement.
• Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated.
  
• Please give more attention to these writers.
• Deliver this award to six bloggers who must choose six more and include this text into the body of their award.

I'm just getting into the "blogosphere" as I've heard it referred to, so don't have followers or even someone to pass this along to yet. But thanks for the love!

I must be crazy

We are going to have a tv-free afternoon. I'd say "day", but I don't know if you've caught "Modern Family" yet. If not, it's on tonight and the pilot was HILARIOUS. So yeah, "tv-free afternoon". My 3 year old is dying. I am, too. It's been in effect for 30 minutes. hahahaha

I know there are plenty of things to do, so I'm not too worried. However, having the man home has really thrown a kink into my planning. He doesn't like to do anything I like to do: shop, read, run errands... I'm not sure what he'd like to do. But it stinks because we live in northeastern PA and it's freezing. Activities are limited to the indoor variety.

So while the baby gets some sleep, this momma is gonna play some 3 year old games and probably make tv-free afternoons a regular thing.

But then again, check back in 30 minutes.

:)

Cooking and Whatnot

I've actually cooked dinner every night for 2 weeks. This is a HUGE accomplishment in our household. I work retail, so my hours are crazy, and I tend to just grab something for me and the man on my way home. Since I'm still on "bonding time" (thanks, gap inc!) I decided to get better at cooking. I've even gotten dinner done in about 20 minutes on a couple of nights. Apparently all those tips about prepping all your veggies ahead of time actually are helpful.

So we're going to the shore this weekend, for an Italian Festival! Can't wait. But since we are all going to be drinking our faces off, I plan on also making a few things ahead of time and taking them with us:

Meatballs. I'm perfecting my recipe. They still aren't as good as "Mary's Balls", my mother-in-law's, but they're getting there.

Lasagna. A vegetarian variety. I've got to start flipping through some of these foodie blogs I've been finding.

Random snacks.

I've just got to get the lasagna taken care of... Off I go!

Wow. So I haven't written anything since May 30?? So much has happened since! I am now the mother of 2, my husband is home from Iraq, I turned 30 (ugh) and well...everything else that happens daily in the life of me :)

Since he's been home I don't think I've been to bed before midnight. In fact, the weekends involve me seeing 4:30am and it's not fun. Not at 30. Especially not at 30.

I feel like there is so much to write, yet...not. So hopefully I can get back to it since I feel like I need to vent and get my thoughts in order. Hopefully this will do it.

Til then, I'm going to cuddle on the couch with 3yearold while baby and hubby nap.

oops

My life has been insane.  Absolutely flippin' insane.  :)  In a good way I guess.

I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant.  I'm scheduled for an c-section on Friday...I'll be exactly 39 weeks pregnant then.  It's weird, though, because when people ask when I'm due, and I inform them that I have a scheduled section on June 5th, I always get "why?".  How about F you?  So then I end up explaining it so they don't judge me:  My son was an emergency section, I was given the option, I have a 3 year old to take care of, my family is in Tennessee, my husband is in Iraq, the girl that is going to be acting in my position can't start until Sunday May 31st, I'm also getting a tubal...  So yeah, lots happening all at once and yes, given the option I decided on scheduling it.  It's really frustrating to get.  You'd think I'd just answer "oh, I'm due the 5th but we'll see..."  but no, I get offended and want people to know they're intruding.  So give them WAY too much info.  hahahaha.

Since I found out I was pregnant, my mother (in Tennessee) has gone on about how she'll be up here with me for a month after the baby to help.  So I call the other day to confirm this, since my mom has a horrible habit of forgetting what she's told me and I've planned for, and suddenly creates other plans.  She actually doesn't clue in anyone that is on a trip with her.  I don't know how many times she's been up to visit and everyone thinks they're staying for 5 days, and on day 3 she's like, so we're going home tomorrow, and starts a familial riot.  I have figured out that this is the real reason they don't like to fly anywhere.  If they have tickets they're locked into a date.  

Anyhow, so she lets me know that she and my two cousins are showing up Tuesday night sometime.  (Mind you Wednesday I go to the hospital to preadmin, and Thursday night at midnight check in for my surgery Friday.  OH and since my mom was coming up to spend quality time with my son before the baby came, Tuesday is his last day of daycare).  That the one cousin will be leaving Saturday.  That the other cousin doesn't want to be here more than 2 weeks because he'll be bored.  So she plans on being here the week of my baby and the week after.  Never mind that she was supposed to come here to HELP ME since for two weeks after surgery I can't drive or lift anything heavier than the baby.

Anyhow.  My biggest fear about being the stay at home mother of 2 for five months is that I have no clue how to be a stay at home mom.  I don't know what to do that's going to still provide a schedule, healthy meals, fun times, projects, and get the 3 year old ready for preschool in the fall.  I turn on my stove like 2 times a week as it is now.  Now I am going to have to make meals on a budget (since I won't be paid for 3 of the five months...).  

So I guess I'll be internet searching that.  Granted I have other things to be done.  For instance cleaning up all the clutter in my life between now and Tuesday (since it'll only happen successfully while Dyl is in daycare...).  

I have no clue what my point was starting this...  but there it is.  

Blog update. 

Spring is a Coming...or is it just the hormones?

Since I had a nice weekday off with no appointments, specific errands, or unfun things to do I decided to create some errands and then have a nice day of brunch and shopping with my friend.  The sun is out and I feel like I got a ton of things accomplished, so all in all it was a pretty pleasant day.  Granted I now have the unfun things to do:  dinner and laundry.  WOO.

Things had been rough.  I don't hear from Tommy a whole lot, and he happened to call at the end of a long day last weekend, which left me kind of upset.  I think it's just because I have so much happening soon, and I don't have him to discuss it with.  For instance, when he gets back from Iraq, he has no job.  They got rid of his position.  (Funny how civilian companies have to hold your job while deployed yet the PA National Guard got rid of his.  haha  *sarcastically*)   (and realistically, he's going to have a job.  He has 3 options as of right now.  but still...) Also, in June we are having a baby.  And I won't be working for 16 weeks.  And though he makes more than I do...I do contribute a nice chunk to the household.  Especially for my spending habits.  (haha *not sarcastic*)  And I will be going back to work probably just before he comes home from Iraq.  Joy.

Anyhow, with being pregnant, worrying about all those things, running the house, taking care of my 3 year old, trying to keep it together at work 40 hours a week...it just added up into a little bit of me feeling all *woe is me* and I just needed him to understand, and it didn't seem like he did.

So what did I do?  I wrote a lot of really mean emails, BUT didn't send them.  Luckily.  Because my poor, amazing husband wouldn't have needed any of that.

And then ta-da he called Monday morning, and everything is wonderful, and I've had the greatest week.

In other news, I think this kid has tripled in size in the last 3 days.  Suddenly I can't sit straight.  I have to have this gangsta-lean.  I thought I'd take pictures, but I'm only just showing, so maybe I'll try to find a good setup to take some photos.  Nothing like documenting this miracle, eh?  :)  Especially since this is DEFINITELY the last addition for our little family.

I had a Frappucino today.  It was delicious.  Caffeine and all.  Damn you modern science and your rules for preggos!  Paired with the 50 degree temp, I was motivated to clean leaves up from the side of the house and sweep out the garage.  I now have to figure out what to do with 2 large bags of leaves that apparently the city won't pick up.  And doesn't have a green dump for.  Yeah.  Smart, right?  Now I'm going to get all Holly Homemaker and make dinner, do some laundry, and bake banana bread.

playing catch up

I didn't hear from my husband for probably almost a week.  I mean, we sent quick emails, but we didn't get to talk on the phone or chat online.  Now I know that compared to Vietnam or the World Wars spouses/girlfriends/families, we are very spoiled.  My husband's great aunt remembers when her husband was at war and she was getting letters from him after he came back home.  So yes, technology has spoiled us, but it still doesn't compare to having your loved one within a phone call's reach.

But these last three days have been awesome!  I've had the chance to TALK to him each day.  It's amazing that eight years into our marriage I still just giggle at the thought of being able to talk to him on the phone.  Even if it isn't about anything important, talking to him just makes me centered and calm.

I miss him.  Seven more months to go.

oh E! channel

While sick this weekend, I passed in and out of consciousness while channel surfing.  Falling asleep to the e! channel had to create some of the most random dreams for me.   (but then again, maybe it's pregnancy!)

The dream started with me visiting my parents in Tennessee.  In the dream there were mountains involved, but they live in the western half...no mountains.  And we were walking to find these Amish people who make heaters.  (I credit this to the full page ads our paper has had lately).  My mom and I got bored, and decided to go shopping.  We're shopping, and the center reminds me of the little (key word: little) center that existed when my husband was stationed at Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.  Though the center in my dream was at least nicer.

As my mom and I shop, I walk by a movie ticket counter.  She doesn't want to go, but I happen to know the counter person (Solange Knowles--I only know her because of e!), and it turns out Rihanna and Chris Brown are going, too.

My mom leaves (what am I, 16 again?) and I go to the movies with my friends...  turns out Rihanna and Chris Brown were laying low, waiting for the dramz to blow over.

I woke up, and turned off the tv.  I don't have time for this.

What a Weekend

Saturday night I thought I had food poisoning. Seriously. Nothing stayed down after 5:30pm (I even opted for a salad instead of pizza...silly me). Nothing is worse than puking water and chicken all over your car interior, and then cleaning it up on the side of the road as it snows. 

Oh wait...it does: Dyl is brushing his teeth, and I am puking in the toilet. He walks over next to me and says "oh mommy. That's 'isgusting! Stop doing that...it's 'isgusting" We have a talk about me eating bad chicken, and your digestive system not always letting things down through your stomach, etc etc etc. Those are the normal lessons for a 3 year old watching someone puke, right?
Thankfully at about 1:30am my friends Jeanyne and Katie stopped over to watch Dylan and take me to the hospital. (apparently dyl woke up at around 3:30 and asked katie if the doctor was getting the bad chicken out of me. cracked her up)
The nurses at the hospital were great. Luckily the protocol for women past 20weeks of pregnancy is to go up to the maternity ward before the emergency room. So I got an awesome bed to lay in, Nyne got a super comfy chair, and they loaded me up with some anti-nausea meds and 2 bags of juice. (The ER would've been horrendous...I've been forgotten about there...)
At about 5:30am I thought I was okay. I had some crackers and ginger ale and made my way home. Then puked. and puked. and puked.
So I call the on-call OB at my actual practice (in Kingston) and am lectured for jumping the gun, for wasting her time and long distance, that I should know that it's 3 days of vomiting before I have to worry about dehydration. And a lecture for not having a pharmacy number on hand before calling her. Because I keep that on me while puking upstairs at 5am. Silly me.
I also notice that there is dog puke in my dining room. My nephew didn't let Jackson out Saturday, and Jackson's response to loneliness is to eat socks/napkins/whatevers and puke them in hiding spots. He is now going to live with my sister-in-law until Tommy returns fro Iraq.
I moved into my in-laws' home for bedrest Sunday and Monday. I'm actually just now getting to my house since it was kind of weird to be there while everyone was gone and I'm not physically ill right now. 
I'm keeping myself on bedrest before work tomorrow.
Bedrest sucks. Thankfully there is an Ace of Cakes marathon on to pass the time.
No big life lessons this blog folks- just an update on how much it sucks to puke.
All the girls at work are afraid of pregnancy. I try to assure them this isn't pregnancy but a combination of bad food/stomach flu...their parents can thank me though, if it keeps them baby-free.

The funniest thing about pregnancy is that you forget what the other one was like. Apparently I didn't like being pregnant last time, and had sinus problems and a cough the whole time. It takes everyone else reminding me. 
Well at least this is the last time. So when I forget all this drama, at least I won't have to deal with it ever again! I'll just remember suddenly having a baby and not minding the 9 months of ridiculousness.

Not welcome...

So my son throws a few tantrums.  Not horrifying, like many I've witnessed working at Old Navy, but horrifying to me in that I can't handle it.  (He's usually pretty fun to deal with).  According to my friends and family (but keep in mind, they are my friends and family) he isn't awful.  And he isn't, but he does like to get his own way.  He's 3, spoiled rotten, an only child, and best friends with a bunch of 28 year old males.

Anyhow, after I picked him up from daycare, I decided to run a few errands.  (my first bad decision).  The errands involved a stop at Old Navy (I get a discount, therefore I shop) followed by a stop at Kmart (it's next door).  I then realized I needed to stop at the grocery store, too.  Things went well until the grocery store.  (I should know better than to take him...)

We get there and he even gets the fun cart (you know, the one with the truck on the front half.  Great for a kid, awful to drive as the parent).  We're trucking through, grabbing a thing or two, and we stop in the cereal aisle.  I get Lucky Charms and Frosted MiniWheat, the ones we decided on prior to walking into the aisle.  We're about to leave and he spies the Cocoa Puffs.  With a damn toy on the box.  (Genius, these marketers).  Suddenly he is CRYING for Cocoa Puffs.  (He doesn't like them.  He's suckered me before).  CRYING.  Red, blotchy face.  Tears streaming down and off of his face.  He's awful to look at and listen to.  I calmly remind him he DOESN'T like them, so no, I'm not buying them.

An older woman walks by, looks at him, smiles, looks at me, and says, "Really, I think you should buy them.  I think he'll eat them."

Really?  Because I'm his mom, and have been with him for three years, and KNOW he won't.  I look at her, smile, and say "well, he won't.  Have a nice day".

I don't know if it's because I look twelve, because he is such a cute kid and a sad crier, or what...but seriously, her input...  NOT WELCOME.

Beta

So I'll give this a try.  I'm being inspired by a friend who has begun blogging.  I was first inspired to "blog" more on myspace as a way to catch up friends and family without the big, long form email.  It turns out to be a very therapeutic outlet for me.

So if you happen across my page, who knows what you'll find:  rants, raves, recipes, Dylan stories (3 yr old love of my life), Tom stories (love of my life), etc. etc. etc.  I happen to love run-on sentences and horrible grammar, so please don't complain.  

I used to be what I considered a Domestic Goddess...and now...I'm happy with the (Not S0) part of the title.  :)